Some of you may remember my blog from October "Not Far," in which I included the story of visiting my gardner and his family. On this trip - I got to meet the cow that supplies my milk. Recently, I learned that the cow was stolen. Well, not really stolen - rather repossessed by a relative. Turns out, my gardner was borrowing the cow from his grandma - who has recently decided to sell it to another relative - who has now repo'ed it from my gardner and now he - nor I - have milk.
In the meantime, I am also a little caught up in the social complexities of my patients' lives.
I have a patient who is s/p a hysterectomy after a placental percreta. Her uterus was ruptured, there was placenta in the abdomen and she lost 3 liters of blood while I frantically did the fastest hysterectomy of my life. She is not married but has three children - ages 3 to 12. She lives 4 hours away and her children are home alone - the eldest caring for the younger ones, while we care for their mum. She has no phone and presumably has not spoken to the children in ~ 2 weeks! When I questioned her about this situation, she assured me that if there was any problem, the neighbors could look in on the children.
Another patient just had her second admission this pregnancy for self-poisoning. She is only 20 weeks pregnant and I suspect she is trying to abort the pregnancy.
A couple came to see me recently for reproductive couseling. She is HIV positive and he is not. They want to know how they can safely have children.
The list goes on and on.....
It makes me think of Matthew 9:36...."But when he saw the crowds, he was moved with compassion, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep with no shepherd."
I humbly admit that there are days when I am not entirely "moved with compassion" though. Some days there is a great deal of frustration and self-pity.
Seriously? Who borrows a cow?
How can a parent seem so nonchalant about leaving their kids home alone for weeks?
Suicide and abortion are against the law - just call the police.
If one more person ask me for anything - I. will. scream.
The patients aren't prepared on time for the OR, my case got bumped, I'm hungry, my back hurts.....
It's probably a good thing I wasn't a disciple, because I probably would have told the crowd: "Sorry, you need to leave and come back on Monday because that's when the Saviour has clinic."
In all seriousness, being in Kenya has made me vastly aware of how easy it is to either
1) become so emotionally overwhelmed by someone's suffering that your own judgement is affected, or
2) to become to tired, frustrated or cynical that you become completely de-sensitized to the suffering of others.
Please remember me in prayer as I seek this balance in work life and home life. It would be my prayer that I remain somewhere in the middle - compassionate, objective and totally in love with the idea of helping others.
On a completely unrelated note.......even my cleaning has gotten "complicated"..... now I know why this bathroom cleaner was on sale....it makes my toilet overflow with bubbles with every flush!
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